Indecision

What to write? This seems to be a time of year for indecision. For some reason (which I could analyse further but this Mama needs a break from that) I'm having trouble making big decisions at the moment. Sometimes the way forwards is clear and I feel brave and able to take a risk. And then there are times like now - fear, confusion, indecision. What if I make the wrong decision? - Ahhh, that old chestnut. This thought comes up at times like this - its nothing new - but just as fear-inducing as every other time.

So I think back (excuse this Mama for thinking out aloud today, I need to get thoughts out and down to make sense of this) to what I did last time I was in this situation. Hmmm, no good there, I'm too confused to remember. I'll make a cup of tea instead...

Yes, that's better. The grey matter is starting to warm up. I can do this.

Step one - be kind to myself. I'm the only one beating myself up about making the 'right' decision so best to let that go and focus on things to help me - a walk in the garden, a deep breath of fresh air, a warm drink, some stretching, music...

Step two - change my thought. THIS is what has helped me before (now I remember). I need to think that it doesn't matter which decision I make, either will be good. This helps to break the deadlock in my thinking and I feel myself viscerally relax...

Step three - do something else. I need to forget about making the decision for a while. I decide that I'll make it tomorrow if it hasn't already become clear to me before then. And I'll be happy with whatever it is, because in the scheme of things either decision is a good one.

Carolyn

Today's inspiration: day 6

Spring is a-coming.

We're always making choices

I dipped my toes into the political arena today. Its not something that I do often (I don't buy newspapers or watch the news either) and to be honest I am something of a fence-sitter. Always have been, both in voting and in life in general. You see I can often see both sides of a story very clearly and so have trouble choosing. I seek to understand everyone and give them the benefit of any doubt, rather than choose a side.
But the truth is that I'm always choosing a side, its just that I don't often do it consciously and I definitely don't like to bring attention to those choices. I like to be a fence-sitter. Its safer. But nonetheless a choice is being made, and I can either choose to let it be made for me or I can be up front about it and be honest about why I think that's better.
And so today I met briefly with the independent candidate running for our electorate of Indi, Cathy McGowan. I was impressed with her straightforward and relaxed manner. I like that she asked my name. I like that she lives on a farm not all that far from here. I like that she asked what she could do for me. And I like that she came to Mount Beauty. So, for the record and in the interests of consciously choosing a side, I am going to vote for Cathy in 10 days time. Her website is here if you're interested.
By the way, our current member has been in charge for a long time and to be honest I haven't agreed with much of her focus over that time, nor have I been impressed by her morals and ethics as a politician. It would be awesome to have an independent member of parliament as our spokesperson for a change.

Today's inspiration: day 5

Today's inspiration: girls in white dresses.

Today's inspiration: day 4

Today's inspiration: our big fairy in the garden.

Today's inspiration: day 3

Today's inspiration: Hoppet day

Today's inspiration - day 2

Today's inspiration: my lovelies at home on the couch.

Today's inspiration day 1

Today's inspiration: Homemade Orange Marmalade.

The power of expectations

"Never underestimate the power of expectation"

I read this quote in the staff room of Rosie's primary school this week. And, being a teacher myself, I thought about how true this was for me back in my classrooms and how true it is for me now as a Mama. Often when I'm finding myself clashing with one or both of my daughters (or with my Ian), its a matter of increasing my expectations of them that leads to greater confidence on their part, and then more responsibility. In other words, I don't need to take on everything. They are more than capable of doing a lot of stuff themselves and its not my job to be a martyr. After that I can step back, breathe more freely again, and be a better Mama for them.

And then, as this Mama is wont to do, I began to analyse this quote a little more. What if the said expectations were unrealistic or unhelpful? What if they lead to pain and suffering?

Now this wasn't just an idle thought, no. You see I've been waning these past few days. You may have noticed a lack of blog posts, little writing and certainly little meaningful content. All I've been able to manage on some days is to look at my desk and sigh. On other days I've added a photo. Usually taken by someone else. At other times I've sat down to what I can only describe as writer's block. Then last night I just wanted to yell. At anyone. For anything. And at the bakery this morning I was teary and tired...

Clearly I need a break.

And so I've adjusted my expectations. For the next couple of weeks I'm not expecting myself to write a post for everyday and this week I'm not expecting myself to review a book or a blog. I may post a photo if I feel like it and perhaps I might write if the inspiration strikes. But for now this Mama needs some rest and some time to imagine some new directions....

Peace to you dear readers...

My vision board - the next couple of weeks are all about adding to this, imagining new directions, getting clear about the directions I'm already heading in and basically spring cleaning this Mama from Mount Beauty.

This moment

A photo from the week. No words. Just a moment in time.

Friday book review: Living the Good Life

An oldy but a goody. First published in 1954, Living the Good Life by Helen and Scott Nearing is the ultimate book about dropping out of the 'rat race' and living a down to earth life that is close to nature.
Of course there are many books about this sort of change, but I really like that this couple faced the same sort of challenges that exist today (and many that do not, it must be said). They aim to "live sanely and simply in a troubled world".
They left NY during the Great Depression and "decided we could live a saner, quieter, more worthwhile life in the country".
We had the first truly warm and sunny day here in the Mount Beauty since the onset of Winter and as I spent my day in our sunshiny garden I thought about this book and how it's simple yet powerful message underlines what we're working on here as a family.
I was living the good life today...is fact so much that this post almost didn't get written in favour of moving strawberry plants, planting seeds, thinning seedlings and playing with children.
*sigh*

Pink lemon cordial

We don't exactly have a glut of lemons (although that would be nice) but our young tree has done well this year and given us enough for cooking and to make a couple of batches of lemon cordial.
I used my friend Bron's Lemon Cordial recipe and added some fresh grated beetroot at the end to add a pink tint (the girls love my extra effort!).
To 1 Litre of water I added 1kg of sugar, brought it to the boil and then allowed it to cool to room temperature.
To this cooled mixture I added 2 cups of freshly squeezed lemon juice and the freshly grated beetroot, then strained the whole lot to remove any pulp and the remains of the beetroot.
To this I added 2 tsp of lemon essence (as per the recipe although I think I'll leave this out next time).
Then I bottled it up. It made about 2 litres of cordial to spice up our days...
Enjoy!

Our late Winter garden

Our garden is still mostly in its Winter hibernation. There are just a couple of signs that Spring will soon be upon us. And with these signs comes a little panic from this Mama - all those Winter jobs I was going to do in the garden - so many done but so many not yet started. I'd better get a-working...

The rocket is doing well (it always is it seems...)

Bethany helping to pick some lemons for cordial

She was determined to carry the heavy basket by herself

Trays of seedlings ready to plant out - I think I'm a little late with the broccoli but I'll see what happens

The wood shed - with front recently removed to increase air flow and because we like to look at our stacked wood.

The first miniature daffodils just peeking out of their hoods

Spring is coming but its still cold in the garden (notice my cowl - just finished in time for my birthday a couple of weeks ago).

Organising this Mama

The biggest part of organising us is to organise this Mama herself. And I know it sounds a little un-politically-correct and perhaps even arrogant, but in this family at least its the Mama who holds everything together most of the time. Its Mama who organises and prepares and thinks ahead for the family as a whole (as well as most of the parts). And that's how it should be.
And so I've made myself a Home Management Journal (the capital letters make it sound very official and important don't you think?) to help get my thoughts and planning out of my head and into some sort of consistent approach.
I've borrowed this idea from Down to Earth (the book and the blog), which I wrote about here, and sewed the folder cover a while ago to take on our trip to Tasmania at Easter time (you may have seen Rosie with it in some of the photos). Its now nicely repurposed to hold my planning sheets, lists of jobs, garden notes, budget etc...


Watch out world....this Mama is organised...

 

This moment

A photo from the week. No words. Just a moment in time.

Woolly Wonder Washers

Fancy a little knitting project?

Well I have just the thing for you. Lately I've been knitting up some little dishcloths for the kitchen in between larger projects that take a little more commitment and concentration. A dishcloth is the perfect project for a week or a few days (or one day if you're sitting in the car on the way to somewhere). For this Mama, in between getting our big girl to school and getting our littlest girl to sleep, a week is the perfect amount of time to get one of these done.
I've made up a simple little pattern that suits my needs, but there are plenty of others to suit your needs on ravelry if this isn't your style.

Here's mine:

I use 100% wool in a DK (8 ply) and 4mm needles to get a tight weave (don't use acrylic yarn - it doesn't wash out well and leaves residue on the bench after wiping).

Cast on 40 stitches using your method of choice.
Row 1 and 2: Knit all stitches
Rows 3 to 38: *K2, P2 then repeat from * until 2 stitches remain on your needle. K2.
Row 39 and 40: Knit all stitches
Cast off all stitches.

Maintain your washer in good condition by washing in cold water and air drying - best not to hot wash or tumble dry unless you want to shrink it!)

This makes a square-ish cloth with ribbing in the centre (great for scouring sourdough stuck on the kitchen bench) and a border of garter stitch around the outside. Of course you could add a lovely crocheted border, change colours for a striped effect, or change stitches for a different pattern. But for the moment, for this Mama, this simple pattern is just what I need...

Friday book review: Handmade Home

"Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little"

Edmund Burke

Aaaahhhhh....I do so love this book (and others by Amanda). Handmade Home: Simple Ways to Repurpose Old Materials into New Family Treasuresby Amanda Blake Soule (from my favourite Soulemama blog) is one of my personal favourites for crafty inspiration around our home and in nature.
This is such a lovely book because of her photos of craft with her children, the simplicity of the crafts she describes and the way she uses repurposed materials to create new things. I find it uplifting and freeing to make things from scratch, or from free or secondhand, quality materials and this book changed the way I look at craft and creativity.
I particularly like some of the things she says (because I do so like quotes and sayings):

"Our small actions can improve not only our earth, but also our hearts, our spirits, and our children - and bring about the kind of change that is the most powerful, the most heartfelt, and the most personal" (p. XIII)

"During these simple times of play and creating together we can connect so deeply to each other, build our relationships with one another, and strengthen our family bonds" (p. 116)

"The great outdoors holds so much magic for you to witness and experience together as a family. The woods, the ocean, the mountains..." (p. 149)

Sometimes this book lingers in various places around our home - on my bookstand, near my bed, on the kitchen bench. And sometimes its 'away' on the shelf with my other special books. But always its ideas and sentiments are close by should I need a little inspiration.

Enjoy.

This week

It's been a dreary, grey week in Mount Beauty - quite unlike most of the weather here. And, as if in response to the grey clouds, this Mama has had a grey week too.

It often happens when family leave that the following few days feel low and flat and this week was no exception. Time for writing has been scarce, the garden is wet and muddy, I cut my thumb through my fingernail and one of our poor hens (Pippy) was taken by a fox (and another - Poppy - has a gash in her rump from said fox). To say this Mama feels bad is an understatement. It's been one of those weeks with lots of jobs and not much reprieve and I'm feeling tired and stretched thin. *Sigh*

I tell myself...
It happens sometimes doesn't it?

So I focus on how good it will feel when things swing back my way, and know that they'll be even more beautiful because of these low times. And for that I AM grateful.

Carolyn x x x

Learning together

Learning is such a collaborative process.

As a teacher this is something I saw all the time and I worked hard to encourage collaboration, discussion and joint learning. It was one of my main agendas then, and remains very high on my list of priorities now as a parent.

Life, to me, is about joyful learning and this happens so often with someone beside us to share that joy.

From playing games together to reading side-by-side and walking hand-in-hand, learning together is so beautiful to see in our children and it fills this Mama's heart with joy to see it on display so often around this home of ours.

Enjoy, dear readers....