Are you hiding behind your books?

I'm exploring a new way of writing, which is really a new way of creating, a new way of living.

Bear with me as I paint a picture for you...

I've been writing from my soul much more lately, with as much flow as I'm given. I write what feels personally important, what's calling me, without question. I just get it out there.

And a funny thing's been happening.

You know I used to read a lot - self help books, personal transformation books, cutting edge thoughts, programs etc - to ingest others' ideas in order to get through a problem and move forward. 

But the last few years have brought a shift - I'm reading less and writing more.

I'm looking inwards for answers and giving them to the world, rather than looking to others for answers and assimilating them within.

It's a subtle and profound shift.

It seems that there's a time for learning from others before you, and a time for pushing forward, over the edge and into new territory, carving a path where none previously existed.

A path based on faith and trust - a co-created way forward for all.

So, some questions and thoughts for you - Transformed Mamas, Teachers and Lovelies....

Are you hiding behind your books?

Are they, in fact, holding back your creativity?

What would happen if you put the self help books away and trusted yourself instead? What if you embraced the wobbly emptiness of that void and stepped up anyway?

Bluffing

I have to do it. I have to write something creative. I have to be amazing . I have to be something.

This voice is Resistance at work. It's the edge beyond which I extend myself, beyond which I stretch my comfort zone.

You got that Lovely? You got resistance in your life too?

Resistance doesn't want us to go there. It loves when we fail, in fact it's job is to stop us from changing and moving into success.

And this is the tricky part you see, for it uses our enthusiasm against us. It takes the motivation we have for being creative and changes it to obligation.

It knows that our will can't handle that. It knows that we'll give up pretty soon if it feels like hard work.

And then it's won. It's convinced us that we need motivation in order to write (or study, or make that birthday cake or phone call, or do that job), that we need inspiration in order to move forward.

Then we're at the mercy of the next bout of inspiration - our power given away, dis-ease sinking in yet again.

So how do we turn this around? How can we trade up our thoughts to outwit Resistance at its sly game?

We bluff.

We say to our Resistance I don't have to write much, just one sentence. I don't have to write anything amazing or perfect, just a few words. 

That's all - a small, subtle gesture in the right direction that sneaks under the nose of Resistance.

If that isn't enough then we try something smaller - I just need to sit down with a pen and some paper, I just need to pick up that pencil ...

I don't let it beat me. I get stubborn. 

How can you get stubborn and sneak under the nose of Resistance?

Empowering Geometry

I write. I teach. I Mother. I adventure.

These are the four pillars upon which I build and create. My foundations. My strengths. My whole.

There's comfort in that clear structure for me. I like that it's four pillars - somehow it feels like a stronger structure - with four sides, four corners - a diamond or a rectangle.

For me, it's not to much and not too little - it's juuuuusssst right.

And, you know, many structures come in fours:

- our seasons

- phases of the moon

- points of the compass

- eastern elements (water, fire, earth, metal)

There's am elements of strong simplicity in a group of four - it feels sleek and sure to me.

If I we're to draw a picture of my structure it would look like this:

Every element connects to the others. There are relationships between them all. Interconnectedness is highlighted.

For me, this structure, this image, provides direction, focus and clarity.

What shape would your structure be? - is there a shape that resonates with you? That stands out in pictures or diagrams? Do you choose fabrics or clothing with particular geometric patterns (e.g. A-line skirts, square cut necklines etc...)?

How many corners does your shape have? How many pillars support your life?

How does this foundation structure support your life?

The Resistance Train

Got resistance in your life? I have.

Lately I haven't felt the motivation to write. And I've let this stop me.

I've tripped myself up, wallowed in the pervasive tiredness I'm feeling in the heat of Northern Australia and allowed myself to drift into 'what if's',  'if only's' and 'maybe's'.

I thought I was smarter than this you know. Thought I'd notice my trains of thought heading in an ineffective direction. But that's how resistance works right - it sneaks up on you when you're not looking.

Clearly resistance has outwitted me again these last weeks.

"Resistance by definition is self-sabotage" - Steven Pressfield.

Of course I could feel this malaise creeping up on me - could feel its downward pull - and was pushing against it, fighting it with my will until I was exhausted, then doing nothing and dealing with the guilt instead. My usual downhill spiral of stress and overwhelm.

Resistance is a tough enemy.

And then, this time, I chose to do one thing differently - I didn't panic.

I took deep breaths, let myself feel my fears fully, and stepped off the resistance train.

It felt better so I kept going.

I asked myself an empowering question - and ran it on repeat in my head for the day...

How can I support myself today?

I let that sit there, that thought, until a chance came for some time to myself. I took it and wanted to sleep the tiredness away, but chose some yoga instead, knowing that a few poses would be enough to give me more energy than a short nap.

In short: I took small, positive steps forward and traded my thoughts up, one at time.

And then - here's the clincher - I read some of Steven Pressfield's The War of Art....

 "Resistance is a force of nature. It acts objectively", and then I really GOT how it had beaten me this time.

I say down and picked up my pen....

Got resistance in your life? (Look for it - we all do babe).

My advice?

1. Admit to it. Even if only in your journal. But be honest about how it feels (strong, icky, tight, like a wall - give it a name).

2. Face your fears - for resistance points to where we need to go next - make yourself a list of reasons who you should feel resistance about this.

3. Take that first small step up

 - do some yoga

 - take a deep breathe

- give yourself a positive phrase or question

- pick up that pen!

Xx

Loving the Storyteller

It's fickle, this balance called life. Always changing, always moving. Like a juggling act of yin and yang. A flowing cycle of ups a and downs.

It can feel hard to surrender ourselves to this flow. We feel ourselves attaching to many feelings/states/actions each day, perhaps asking ourselves constantly am I this? Or am I this? Or am I this?

I know my ego gives me a running commentary each day. It feels like a nameless, deeper part of me that is narrating my life - telling the story and trying to decide what to include and what to leave out. I find it disconcerting, confusing often, if I tune in too much.

And yet it's in this storytelling that there's power.

When I feed my inner narrator nothing but love - when I soothingly encourage its voice - everything softens and relaxes.

 great

I feel peaceful and my storyteller gives me a tale that shines with a golden light - like a soft, Autumn day. My 'story' becomes more fairytale-like, more like a light-hearted dream.

My storyteller and I meet in the present.

And that, my friends, is a beautiful gift.

What does your inner narrator sound like?

How can you give yourself and your storyteller some love?

Can you find beauty in your narrator's actions?

Keeping myself raw

I used to shy away from pain and heartbreak - and if I'm honest my natural tendency is still to do so. If something hurt I turned away. If something grated I covered myself up. If anything got too hot, too spicy, too whole I would do an about face and promptly bury myself in a self-help book to feel better.

But I do things differently now, I've realised. I let myself feel the real. I aim to feel raw.

I face up more. I turn away less. I ask myself empowering questions and expect joy more frequently. I allow myself to feel heartbreak - and know that I'm okay.

It's the shift that allows joy into my life.

So: To all Mamas, Papas, teachers and learners out there....

Where are you holding yourself back?

What are those questions like in your head? Do they assume optimism? Can you trade them up for more positive ones? (Think: How can I be kind to myself today?)

How can you feel raw today?

The heart of education

I love education. 

I love all it's facets - home-based, school-based, kindergarten, higher education, lifelong learning, teaching, lecturing, self-education...

But what I've found, as an educator and parent over the past almost 15 years, is that much of the structure, content and instructional techniques are based on scientific or educational research, or on institutional assumptions that quietly carry on from generation to generation.

Now there's nothing wrong, I believe, with basing decisions on rigorous research per se, but I question the dependence our education system has on this form of education.

For one, the findings of research can be misinterpreted, or at least become diluted by the powers who decide what to fund and how to implement change.

Secondly, despite the advances that educational research and theories point to, change within our system is slow - stuck in its own habits and assumptions much like we, as individuals, can be stuck in our habits and unable to move forward into freedom.

And thirdly, research is not the only way of 'knowing' upon which decisions can be based. Think about Edward de Bono and his thinking caps, the ideas about the multiple intelligences we have and how we, as individuals, make decisions based on our mental, spiritual, emotional and physical needs. We can feel a decision too, rather than think it.

And so what can we do? How can we move education forward into its own freedom? How can we free it from it's limiting assumptions?

It must come from each individual's heart.

What we can do must come from our hearts as well as our heads. It must be grounded - from the bottom up, as well as the top down. It must come from parents and classroom teachers and helpers - from those working directly with our precious new souls.

I propose a grass-roots movement - a heartswell that ripples out from each individual. For the power of change is within each of us - the shift toward our future resides within.

When we each make the commitment to be our best selves - to look within and embrace our vulnerability, to shift our personal perspectives into the future and to expand our comfort zones, then education within the institutions we are a part of will benefit and shift too.

It's up to us to embrace that inner work - alone and with others. 

Let these questions be your guide and perhaps a conversation starter with others.

Making a difference within means making a difference on the outside too.

1. How soon can you imagine stepping outside of your comfort zone in your life? What would you need to do to take that first step?

 2. Where are you feeling most vulnerable at the moment? Sit with yourself quietly and really feel those emotions - how can you now move forward into your future?

3. Where in your life can you step up and be a more open parent/teacher/educator/coach?

Let's shift that edge together.

Xx

Choose your own suffering

We all suffer right? As much as we try to avoid-resist-push it away, it comes back in that same form or another.

Buddhism knows this.

We all know this. Deep down inside.

And it makes sense - life is about cycles and balance. With up comes down, with light comes dark.

And so I've started thinking about it a little differently. A little outside of the box.

What if we choose our suffering instead of life giving us suffering to balance what we take? 

What if we take balance into our own, conscious hands?

If we structure our lives with kind but disciplined boundaries we take our focus from our wants. And in the process we give ourselves a humble, everyday appreciation of suffering which then opens us to receiving our desires - the balance is restored.

I'm talking here about kind suffering - the sort that pushes you out of your comfort zone, that grounds you, that connects you to your spirit, that you commit to over time.

This sort of suffering is really kindness in disguise.

Still not sure what I'm talking about? Here are some examples that work for me...

- giving up sugar

- regular exercise

- everyday spiritual practice

- writing everyday - rain, hail or shine

- morning yoga

- volunteering 

Wonder what sort of suffering is a match for you at the moment? Try these questions on for size...

What are you resisting in your life at the moment?

What do you want? What is the opposite of this?

What is the worst thing you could think of having to do everyday at the moment?

Best of luck - go blow those comfort zones out of the water.

xx

Give yourself permission to explore

I've been on a bit of a mission lately - to write, to make connections, to move forward with my coaching.

It's been all-consuming at times and has been at its least preoccupying my thoughts many times a day.

But these last couple of days I've stopped.

Just stopped.

And with that shift I've starting exploring new avenues of interest. I've been delving with gusto in learning more about the science of positive psychology, what motivates us and a program called Happy Schools.

And as I've explored a bigger shift has happened deep inside me.

I've looked at my teaching with fresh eyes and discovered - to my delight and surprise - that I'm ready to go back into the classroom and learn more as I teach.

I'm ready to move on, move forward.

By exploring without pressure I can see a way forward that includes writing and teaching.

What can you explore today?

Which new avenues have you been curious about lately? 

Give yourself permission to check them out over a cuppa - they may lead you to the changes you're looking for.

What blinds us can also take us forward

There is so much good stuff going on in this world. So much happening at the forefront. So many people striving to live at their edge, pushing boundaries, extending human potential, our capacity as a species and transforming their lives.

I, for one, work on this daily with my quest for spiritual empowerment, living outside the box and in general living a life transformed from the generally-accepted to something tailored for me.

I see this all around me in the motivated teacher, in the passionate parent and in those who dedicate themselves to science, music or art. Anyone whose aim is to change the world for the better - whether through illumination, transformation, learning or love (or a combination) - is transforming themselves by making the world a better place, and transforming the world by making themselves a better person.

Yesterday I was reading Scientific American from March 2014 and stumbled across a gem of an article about why good thoughts block better ones and saw many parallels with the world of personal transformation.

Essentially, because I'm not going to explain the science too much, this article talked about studies into a loophole in the brain (called the Einstellung Effect) where it will choose a strategy or thought pattern we are familiar with rather than look for or notice a better path.

This happens all the time when we're working on making our lives better, when we're reframing our situation to find the joy.

Its why changing-up our existence to something higher feels like such a shift internally.

This is how we can miss the truth of our own situations and continue to make excuses, one reason why we allow resistance to rule.

Think you might be immune to this?

See how much these questions resonate for you...

- How often have you been blind to a better way of living, or a better way of doing something, simply because you didn't see it any other way until someone else did it first?

- Have you felt that expansion when your world opens up and you see ways ahead that you didn't see before, even when nothing appears to have changed?

- Have you acted with your heart, rather than your head, and felt a way forward that you previously couldn't identify?

I'm betting the Einstellung Effect has something to do with this.

So what can we do about it? How can we overcome the inertia of the hardwiring of our brains in order to see beyond our current thoughts and limitations?

Well, primarily I think we can lead with our hearts first, rather than our logic, when making big, perspective-shifting changes in our lives. For its from our hearts that awe, grace and a greater perception can be felt, and from there a pathway to a transformed life.

Secondly, use some of Byron Katie's marvellous work to turn your thinking around - ask yourself; how can the opposite be true? - and see what your brain comes up. I've done this many times and am always surprised by the way I can find evidence for multiple ways of looking at things in my life.

Thirdly, work with a coach or mentor. Personally I used to think that life coaches and mentors were a waste of time and money - why pay someone else for help when I could read the book myself and spend some time alone working it out? But then I stumbled upon a Passion Test Coach almost by accident and found the process of working with someone else, someone who didn't know me already, to be highly beneficial when wanting to make positive changes in my life. Since then I've worked with a second coach (Tara Bliss - I've written about her here) for a longer period, and in both cases I have been able to see beyond my limiting thoughts and beliefs, to expand my awareness of myself and to expose my blindness. I'm positive that this wouldn't have happened had I stayed working alone.

For me this has been life-changing, and the reason that I'm now a passionate coach also.

These strategies, I believe, help us to overcome this loophole in the functioning of our brains and allow us to illuminate the blindness with which we can be looking at our current situations.

Some further questions for you to consider...

How are you being blind to the joy in your life?

Where do you want to see improvement but can't find a way forward?

What are you taking for granted?

Wishing you a momentous day.

Carolyn xx