Be the Boss

Its been a tough week here in camp homeschool. We've returned from our week away feeling relaxed, and I must admit that I expected us to get back motivated and pleased to be home. And this may have been the case for all of us, but its felt like hard work. Perhaps its the retrograde Mercury that's been affecting us this week, tampering with our technology and upsetting our learning rituals. Perhaps we were really just tired and needed a week to 'get back into the swing of things'.

Either way, there have been a lot of tears, from both small girls.

And as the homeschooling Mum who has taken responsibility for their education as well as their general health and wellbeing (I separate these three terms for the sake of understanding, but I really believe their one and the same - we are a whole are we not?), I have been feeling several emotions that have pushed me to my limits - anger, disappointment, sadness, guilt and fear - the big 5 really.

At times I've been able to look these squarely in the eye and breathe deeply and let them go. At other times this week, as they've come back again, I've been less than admirable and have yelled and judged. Not my finest qualities, but ones we all have nonetheless.

Having said all this, the biggest challenge this week has been an amazing learning opportunity for both Rosie and I. She has been suffering from her perception that other people create the happiness in her life - and that its other people's problem if she's not happy/motivated/inspired. And as a parent who has struggled with this herself a lot, but also come a long way with it, personal responsibility that is, this has challenged my sense of self and lead me to look deep within again.

So this week has also been a week of soul-searching - how can I help Rosie? Should I be disciplining her? Why is this happening now? Again? Really? I thought we dealt with this the other day?

And as this challenge repeatedly came up, my understanding of both Rosie and I grew. This is her greatest learning opportunity at the moment. She needs to feel her boundaries here. She needs to gain control over herself and her thoughts and actions so that she can determine her learning needs and move forward.

And so I have been surprised to find that we have been working on the most important learning of all - learning to be responsible for our own thoughts, words and actions. For authentic change in the world really only comes about by each of us taking personal responsibility for what we do, what we choose, what we think.

And so we have been talking to Rosie (and really ourselves) about the importance of being our own boss - being the boss of our thoughts, being the boss of our words and being the boss of our actions. For it is through these that we create our experiences. It is through these that we perceive our environment and decide whether we want to see it positively and with optimism, or negatively and with pessimism.

It is our hope as parents that this challenge is something Rosie remembers for the rest of her life, that it stands her in good stead and enables her to be a force for good in this world. And its our hope that we keep working on ourselves as well - delving deeper, becoming more authentic in our own ability to be personally responsible and ultimately be living role models for our children and others.

Wishing you a lovely day. xx